I’m tired. My eyes are heavy.. but what is keeping me awake is thinking of the plans I had for tonight. I have a new toy that I want to try. Ever since I got it, I’ve been thinking about finding time to use it, today I decided that it was time. Then, after watching the video on female ejaculation and doing a little more research on the A spot- I have been insanely turned on and wet.
I think I know exactly where my A-spot is, as I am certain that when Sean was here, he was certainly pushing and fucking it with his fingers. It’s possible that is why I really want and NEED to be fucked deep, and possibly why it’s almost impossible for me to cum without deep penetration (not counting the Hitachi, cause you know- you don’t have a choice with that). So I’ve been thinking about it, and waiting until The Ex falls asleep, but you know, that doesn’t seem to be happening. He’s in no mood to help me, and since he’s being forced to quit smoking, I doubt he is in any mood to have me going at it in bed next to him.
Most nights I’d think “fuck you” and do it anyway- but he is agitated and being a downright fucking dick. So I’m not going to push my luck.
Instead I have been sitting on the couch, slowly rubbing my pussy. Feeling my soft pink tissue swelling and increasing my desire. I want more, but I just can’t get caught tonight. I may be bad, but I’m not stupid. It simply would not do for me to be having my own pleasure while he is “suffering” – and mostly because of me and the fact that I have finally put my foot down about his smoking. So I will suffer.
However, I can feel it. I can feel this newly identified spot, that I have often enjoyed during sex- but never quite knew what it was. It aches and I sit here, wondering which of my toys will massage both the G and A spot at the same time. Perhaps the Stranger II. Perhaps pushing it in deep, while continuing to rub my clit and the tissue surrounding my urethra (which I always do, but never really considered that I was doing it), just the way the video shows. Following the tips that the video described, and maybe then… maybe then I can learn… learn to gush and squirt and cum harder than ever before.
Even if I can’t, I want to try. I want to learn. Thinking about it is making me crazy and I want to fuck myself hard, now. I want to….